Check out our interview with Amsterdam-based R&B artist Elif Dame who just released her new EP “Securely Detached.”
Securely Detached also features songs such as “How to Self-Care” and “Self-Care Pt. II” where Dame admits to not being able to fulfill her primary needs as a basic means of maintaining her stability and consequently facing a never ending cycle of healing and self-sabotage. Then there is “Grandmothers Fault” and “Good Friend” both of which speak about the songwriters struggles with unhealthy relationships in her life, as well as “Nature of the Beast” where the artist realizes that addiction is a family disease.
The EP comes to a close with title-track “Securely Detached” which is a cheerful admission of her feelings, as she shares, “This song is about trying to do better but accepting that it’s a journey, about lovingly detaching from others and accepting that through dedicated self-work, some things stay as they are and I’m alright with it.”
Follow Elif @elifdame
Hi Elif, please tell us a little about you?
Hello! I’m an alternative R&B artist, raised in Amsterdam, libra, big fan of the Sims 2, I probably know 50.000 songs word by word, I often watch the same movies over and over again rather than seeing a new one, I like swimming, I crochet and love to paint, I don’t eat meat or drink milk, I’m an advanced scuba diver, smoking is my biggest vice.
Describe your sound in 3 words?
Eclectic, angelic and a bit metallic
Who influenced you and why did you choose to make music?
I decided I wanted to be a singer after seeing Lauryn Hill and Tanya Blount sing “His Eye Is On The Sparrow” in Sister Act 2. That scene floored me. I have an ever growing list of influences, but the main ones would be Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder, Earth Wind & Fire, Kelela, MF DOOM, Alicia Keys, Erykah Badu, Solange, Sade, Kelela, Frank Ocean and India Arie. I eventually chose to pursue music because singing and writing is my God-given talent and I want to honor it. It’s really fun and the journey is addictive.
Do you play any instrument?
I’m learning piano and guitar at a VERY relaxed pace haha.
Do you ever get nervous?
Yes I have chronic anxiety. I get nervous for everything related to my career and for dates.
Tell us about your new EP “Securely Detached?”
“Securely Detached” is my debut project and it’s about challenging my depression mostly, and about the discovery that this depression is most likely caused by 1. The unresolved pain, addiction and codependency that are rampant in my bloodline and family unit and 2. About lacking skills to take care of my own needs (basic and emotional) – and learning to turn this around.
What’s the story behind the songs?
The story that is depression, recovery, relapsing, coping by adapting addictive behaviors, recovery, unlocking grief, tucking it away, uncovering it again and accepting it.
What is the most rewarding part of your work?
The absolute cleansing effect that making music has on my soul. If something hurts me deep inside and I can’t let it go, I can write a song about it and feel 10 tons lighter. Also sending stuff you made into the world and sort of documenting your journey and setting it in stone feels really good.
What book should every entrepreneur read?
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron and the Bible maybe.
What advice would you give to your younger self and why?
To learn better sooner than later that some people are mean to you because they are jealous and not because you deserve it. I’m learning this now and I’m sad for all the years I deeply questioned myself and wondered what was wrong with me to so often be treated badly, excluded and ignored by my peers, when I was a baddie all along. I get jealous too, but I never break someone down because of it. I try to lift myself up instead, I love women.
How would your best friend describe you?
“Multi-talented, tenacious, resilient, a go-getter, a great cook and a loving friend. Actually, words cannot describe how amazing you are, you just have to know you”.
If you are a book, what would be the title of the book and why?
Oohh… Uhm.. Maybe “A Walk-In Closet Of Shoes To Put Yourself In”. This is my philosophy of life, I want to live as many little lives in my lifetime so my life can be rich. Also I have lived many lives. I’ve been a YouTuber, a blogger, a bartender, a notary assistant (typing up Spanish powers of Attorney??), scuba diver, as aforementioned. I once wrote a poetry bundle called “Who’s Going To Water My Plants When I’m Admitted?” but this would be the prequel because this sentiment was pre-”Securely Detached”. I water my own plants. ← Not a bad title either.
What’s next for Elif Dame in the last months of 2023 and for 2024?
For the rest of 2023 I’m gonna chill out, work and stack my money as high as possible. I’m gonna go to the gym again and get back into the studio, maybe start dancing. In 2024 I will launch a new business and drop lots of music, hopefully in collaboration with other artists and I’m gonna score a hit.
What is your favorite healthy food?
Kale is the best thing I ever ate, honest to God.
And your favorite cheat food?
I don’t hold myself to any type of dietary regime anymore so I don’t have a cheat food, I intuitively eat about 2 times a day and when I eat I eat whatever I want.
How would you explain your fashion style?
Dichotomous, wacky yet classic, rugged but polished, sentimental.
What is your own definition of happiness?
For me happiness is to be closest to our maker, which is by creating: creating memories, creating art, creating opportunity, creating everything we want and are able to. To create is to be happy.
If you could meet someone living or dead, who would it be and why?
André 3000 so I can ask him about ATliens.
What would be the dream holiday, and who would you go with?
I would really love to go to South Africa or Korea for a month or so. I would go alone in both cases because I know some people I’d love to visit in SA and one of my best friends lives in Korea.
Best advice ever given?
Believe in yourself; the sky’s the limit; anything’s possible.
Do you support any charity?
No, not at the moment.
Where do you see yourself and your career in 5 years from now?
Successful, happy, better than I was before, at peace, fully confident, and touring.
What is you favorite song to belt out in the car/for karaoke?
“Heartbreaker” by Mariah Carey…
What do you think of Social Media?
Like everything, it has a good side and a bad side. I’m happy it gives us a way around corrupt news outlets.
Where we can follow you?
TikTok / Instagram / YouTube / X (Twitter) / Spotify
Book: The Catcher In The Rye, Where The Crawdads Sing, Shuggie Bain, The Alchemist.
Quote: “You claim you see things when you on DMT, but I see the same things before I go to sleep.” – Summer Walker
Movie: The Shawshank Redemption, Forrest Gump, Ponyo, Taxi Driver, Some Like It Hot, Pretty Woman, many more I can’t choose.
Tv Series: THE WHITE LOTUS!!!! Favorite Food: Lebanese, kale
Travel Destination: Barcelona, Zanzibar Sports Team: AFC Ajax obviously
