Not every relationship works out, and that is okay. Whether your partner cheated on you, or you two amicably grew apart, however, should hold no bearing on your dynamic as a family. Being married does not mean you automatically are better parents, and in fact the effort you put in after a divorce can improve your relationship with your children and each other. You can be a better family after your divorce, but only if you follow these steps:
Make the Break Clean
The first step to successfully handling any divorce is to make the break clean. This means using specialists like these family solicitors in Chelmsford to get everything out on the table and settling the matters fair and square. It also, however, means setting down some personal boundary rules so that your relationship doesn’t get muddled in the future. For example, while it is more than okay to invite your ex over for your son’s birthday party, it can confuse things if they stay over the night. It is far too easy to slip into old habits, and by making the divorce official and fair, and by setting personal boundaries you both abide by, you can work together towards creating a new, better relationship as co-parents.
How to Co-Parent in Peace
There are two things that are difficult for children following a divorce: one, the change in routine. Two, the change in family dynamic. The best way to navigate following your divorce is to set up a new, consistent routine as soon as possible and to never bad-mouth your partner to or in front of your children. They deserve to make up their own mind and have their own relationship with both you and your partner.
Not only does the routine you create need to be fair, there should also be no qualms between you or your partner about being in the same place at the same time. If your child has a big game, you both should be there. If there is a birthday party, you both should be there. Fake peaceful co-parenting until you make it, because your children are the priority here. You already got what you wanted through the divorce, and now it is time to move on.
One-On-One Time is Also Good
It is also a mistake to assume you have to do everything on a co-parent basis. If you used to all go on a camping trip together every summer as a family, that doesn’t mean you have to continue this tradition. Tight spaces and hurt feelings don’t go together. Instead, start building new traditions. Your partner can take them on the annual camping trip and you can instead have a hiking trip, for example. This way your children can spend one-on-one time with either of you and build new, strong memories.
Families thrive when effort is put into them. By actually finding a way to successfully co-parent with your ex, you can be a better family than you were before and build a life-long bond with your children that you will all cherish.
