Check out our interview with talented artist Jules Paymer who just released the single and music video “The Daughter That My Mother Wanted” featuring celebrated artist Miki Ratsula.
The song and video touch upon the experience of being non-binary and queer and the difficulties that can arise with feeling like you don’t belong or are letting your family down by being yourself.
Jules confides, “Miki and I have the unfortunate kind of privilege of understanding each other that allows a song like this to exist. To meet somebody who has had such a similar experience in their gender, family, and existence is rare in the first place. To both be on this difficult journey of not only being non-binary, but also making room for ourselves in the music industry where room was never made, is an incredible thing. It can be daunting and scary being an artist trying to make real change. Being on set for the music video and hanging out with our ‘younger selves. was kind of insane, it was hard but at the same time, very healing.”
Follow Jules on IG @julespaymer & TikTok @julespaymer
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Hi Jules, please tell us a little about you?
Hi, I’m Jules, I’m an artist and songwriter born and raised in LA! I moved to Nashville for a bit but moved back to my hometown about a year ago. I’m 23 years old, a Capricorn sun, cancer moon and libra rising (for anyone whose into astrology, it says a lot about me haha) and I’m non-binary! I write all sorts of music, but it tends to lean into the sort of indie alt pop world, with themes ranging from queerness and family, to love and relationships of all kinds.
Describe yourself in 3 words?
Bold, Introspective, passionate
We’re sure you have been asked this million times but how did you get in the industry?
I grew up with my dad being in the film/TV/theater world and feel very lucky to have had that. It allowed me to explore less typical careers, and he really gave me the tools I needed to try everything I wanted to try. I was always drawn towards words, writing and making music, so I started a band when I was 7. All throughout my childhood, music was the only thing that made sense to me, and that’s still true to this day. I ended up attending Belmont University in Nashville, Tennessee for songwriting, and that’s where I started to really see myself as an artist for the first time. It was around the time that I came out as queer that I realized I had something to say. I never exactly loved the industry (I still think it’s very flawed,) but I can’t ever not make music. Being in the industry comes with it and I’m okay with that, but I’m still kind of navigating it, as I think I will probably always have to do.
Describe your sound in 3 words?
Raw, hard-hitting, and strong.
Who influenced you and why did you choose to make music?
As a kid, I listened heavily to Taylor Swift and Damien Rice. I honestly probably started writing music because of Taylor Swift, her lyricism and honesty felt so raw and real for the first time and it made me feel like I could say whatever I needed to say. Damien Rice, however, opened me up to a world of darker, heavier songwriting that somehow made me feel so much lighter than I ever have. It feels like a juxtaposition, but it’s always been like that for me. The more truthful, blunt, and dense a song is, the more I feel understood. I’ve always wanted to make people the same way. To be honest though, I don’t think I ever chose to make music. I was singing before I was forming full sentences, I think if I didn’t make music I would explode or something.
Tell us about your new single “The Daughter That My Mother Wanted?”
The Daughter That My Mother Wanted is an ode to the girl I could’ve been if I didn’t become myself. I’ve spent a lot of my adulthood stripping off layers of the girl I used to be, and recently realized that the girl I used to be was just the girl my mom forced on me. It was never a choice, it was who I was told I was. I’ve taken enough time to get to know myself and who I truthfully am, and I am immensely proud of that person, but I still feel the guilt of not making my mom proud sometimes. This song dives into that guilt, and the unsettling feeling of growing into yourself and apart from your family at the same time.
How was working with celebrated artist Miki Ratsula?
Working with Miki has been so inspiring and incredible. I’ve loved Miki’s music since before we started working together, and it’s such an honor to be able to create a piece of music like this with them. To have another non-binary person who have similar family situations and childhood traumas is rare, and to find someone like that who also makes music too feels meant to be. I feel super lucky to create with them and be their friend.
What can we expect from the music video and how was the filming process?
The music video feels like it completes the song. The video really dives into the relationship between each of us and the girls we used to be, and shows off me and Miki’s individual stories as you meet the younger versions of ourselves. You’ll see young Miki trying on their brothers clothes, and you’ll see young me struggling with their long hair and cutting it off. Being on set was emotional to be honest, in a really beautiful way. I definitely cried and it still makes me cry when I watch it. It breaks your heart and then puts it back together again all in 3 and a half minutes. The filming process was unreal. To be able to hang out with the actors who played us was so special and healing for the both of us.
What is the most rewarding part of your work?
The most rewarding part of my work is understanding that me, purposefully sitting with my traumas and heavy feelings, not only helps me, but helps other people as well. Sometimes doing work on yourself can feel lonely and isolating, and getting comments and DMs about how I make people feel understood, or loved, or validated is the most incredible thing. The thing that sticks out to me the most is when a person came out as trans and changed their name to Jules, after me. I cried like a little baby after they told me that
What advice would you give to your younger self and why?
I would tell them that it’s okay, and it’s gonna be over soon. I struggled a lot growing up, I constantly felt uncomfortable, angry, sad, and everything negative in between. The last few years have been the first time in my life that I’m excited about being alive, excited to try new things and grow. I would tell little me to stick it out because it’s about to get really beautiful.
If you are a book, what would be the title of the book and why?
I’ve actually thought about this a lot. I do want to write a book one day. I think I’d call it “On Tearing a Woman Apart.” In the act of coming out as non-binary and queer, I also had to basically destroy the girl I used to be. I had to strip the layers of femininity off of me, just so I could be completely bare and then decide which pieces of femininity actually resonated with me, when there was no pressure to abide by them. I had to tear me apart to put me back together.
What’s next for Jules Paymer in 2023?
After The Daughter That My Mother Wanted, I’m releasing one of my favorite songs I’ve ever written. It’s called Mommy Issues. Fitting right? But after that, in June, I’m releasing my debut 5-song EP called Girls Will Be Boys. This EP means everything to me, it explores growing up, queerness, complicated love with family, romantic relationships, and most of all, myself.
What is your favorite healthy food?
The chicken pesto parm bowl from Sweetgreen is my go to
And your favorite cheat food?
A Nutella banana crepe. I would eat one everyday if I could.
How would you explain your fashion style?
I would explain my style as having a kind of alt/skater/indie boy energy. I love bigger, more baggy clothes with a grungy feel to them. My hair is pink because I love exploring color and new styles all the time. My wardrobe is constantly rotating, I collect and sell vintage clothes and make some too. Fashion is really important to me and I learn about myself so much in it.
Where do you see yourself and your career in 5 years from now?
I try to not set too many expectations or timeline goals because things always look different than I thought they would, and they always end up either better, or the way they were meant to. But in 5 years, I know I’m gonna be on tour, working on a second or third album, or something like that. I’m gonna be making music for a lot of people and that’s all I know.
What is your favorite song to belt out in the car/for karaoke?
My favorite song to belt in the car is Never Learned to Dance by Medium Build. Pretty much every single time I’m alone in the car I roll down the windows and sing that one. My go to karaoke song, though, would probably have to be Before He Cheats.
Favorite Book: The Creative Act, A Way of Being, by Rick Rubin. It’s about the intersectionality between creativity and spirituality. My manager gave it to me for my birthday this year and it’s totally changed my perspective, I definitely recommend.
Favorite Quote: “Good people break bad rules.” It’s hanging on my wall.
Favorite Movie: She’s the Man. It has been since I was a kid. Once I came out as gay it made a lot more sense why I always enjoyed it so much haha. I also really love Mid 90’s, it has a beautiful vintage vibe and reminds me of when I was a kid growing up in LA.
Favorite Tv Series: NEW GIRL!! I could watch a million TV shows that are great but I will never have a comfort show quite like New Girl.
Favorite Food: CURRY
Travel Destination: I can’t wait to be able to explore Europe and new countries, but of the places I’ve been, my favorite is Joshua Tree. I just feel so at home there, it’s a very peaceful place to me.
Sports Team: I’m gonna say the Dodgers or the Lakers cause I’m an LA baby but the truth is I don’t really follow sports much
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